Hello, long-lost friend!

Please pardon my silence. I always find it difficult to jump back in after I haven't written for weeks. The "baby book" part of the blog demands pictures in order to catch up. The "I'm trying to figure this whole thing out" part of the blog asks for actual contemplation, which I haven't had a lot of time for. The "newsy" part begs for actual events to report and there really haven't been any during this stretch of time. The "how-to" part of the blog requires planning and projects, which again, have been few. So...bullet points to tide things over and perhaps a real post later this week.

• The big news is that I took a new job! This development accounts for much of the silence on the blog—I've been absorbed in learning my responsibilities as the director of development and communications for an NGO called Empower Tanzania. This is huge news for me! I started on February 1st and I get to travel to Tanzania in April. I promise I'll devote a whole post to it later. The job is part-time, from home, and is an absolute collision of my passion and skills. I'm feeling really lucky!!
• With this new job, I've given up almost all of my freelance work, which has been bittersweet. I've also made the decision to lay off on the book publishing process a bit. As you know, the "platform building" has been exhausting and uncomfortable for me and I feel like I'm ready to inch off of the platform. Again, more on that later. 
• Sintayehu went to Kindergarten Round-up last week!!
• Eli is home sick with the flu today. He tried out for baseball over the weekend. (Jake and his dad are coaching!)
• Oliver compete in our city-wide Battle of the Books on Saturday and is preparing for his first communion.
• We have one episode left in the new season of House of Cards. I read Amy Poehler's Yes Please over the weekend and laughed out loud.
• The weather. I hesitate to say this, but it seems to be improving. Hallelu! Iowa winters are hard, but spring is going to be amazing! (See my last post. Thank you to my sweet, amazing mother-in-law for showing up at my house with a light therapy box. She is incredible and I'm a believer in it's magical powers.)

I don't think I've ever had a more relaxing break. Remember when I was telling you about "taking a day"? Well, I took about two weeks, didn't apologize, and feel amazing as a result. I closed the door to my office and refused to feel sorry about what I wasn't doing. Rather, I spent my days baking, creating, playing with the kiddos, connecting with loved ones, reading, and binge watching Parenthood on Netflix. Right now I'm reading Eckart Tolle's The Power of Now and it has reinforced something I've felt in my bones for awhile but don't always allow time/space for: 

Beauty arises in the stillness of presence. 

What We're Reading

It’s been a great summer for books and I wanted to share a few that I’ve especially enjoyed: 

FOODIE READS
I’ve long been a fan of Ruth Reichl (former editor of Gourmet and food critic for the New York Times) and was excited to read her first novel. Her nonfiction is fantastic and the novel was a sweet read. Delicious! is fun—great characters and set in NYC.

I’ve also always enjoyed Molly Wizenberg’s writing. Her first book, My Homemade Life, offers great anecdotes and fantastic recipes. (I’ve made many since buying the book when it came out in 2010 and they're both manageable and really good.) Her new book, Delancey, is about opening a restaurant with her husband. This was an insightful book about a restaurant operation and how insanely difficult the business is. Watching my mom and step-dad go through this nearly a decade ago made this book especially interesting to me.

ALL-AROUND ESSAYS
I have always liked the author Ann Patchett and fell further in love after completing her latest book of essays, This is the Story of a Happy Marriage. She is just such an insightful, down-to-earth, wonderful writer. I absolutely loved every last essay included in this book. (Especially "The Mercies" and "Do Not Disturb.") The book includes an essay about the independent bookstore that the author co-owns in Nashville. ("The Bookstore Strikes Back" — You can read it on the Atlantic website where it was originally published.) It just so happened that I went to a conference in Nashville in August and was able to visit the store. It’s as lovely as I expected...such a fun little pilgrimage!

PAGE-TURNING FICTION
We’re all about JK Rowling these days. Eli (age 7) and I have started reading Harry Potter before bed each night. Last night we started Book 2.  Is it sacrilegious that I have not already read the whole HP series? I haven’t, but I’m really enjoying reading it with Eli. I finished her novel Casual Vacancy (fascinating) last spring and moved quickly onto The Cuckoo's Calling, written under the pen name Robert Gailbraith. It was fantastic. I'm in the middle of The Silkworm, the second book in the Cormoran Strike series, and once again am enjoying every page. Just keep in mind that it's slightly disturbing and definitely a book for adult readers. I am amazed my Rowling's insight on human nature and her ability to weave the most interesting, timely, thoughtful, provocative stories.

So...what are you reading? 

What we're reading

image found here

It's been coffee, books, and rain this week and for that I'm pretty thankful! After obsessing about being outside and in the sunshine as much as possible over the weekend, I don't mind curling up with a book while it rains this week. Here's what we've been reading:

The Promise of a Pencil, by Pencils of Promise founder Adam Braun, is an enjoyable read. I loved reading about his personal mission and passion for setting up an organization that builds schools in under-resourced areas of the world. It was interesting to hear an insider's perspective on how a contemporary, hugely successful non-profit gets it's start.

Hands Free Mama: A Guide to Putting Down the Phone, Burning the To-Do List, and Letting Go of Perfection to Grasp What Really Matters by Rachel May Stafford, was an interesting read. The author is honest and wise and it was a book that made me think about my own mothering and media consumption. I read it fairly quickly but will probably go back and examine some of the questions that she poses at the conclusion of each chapter. Again with the banishment of perfection; this is a theme in my life.

Pastrix: The Honest, Beautiful Faith of a Sinner and Saint, by Nadia Bolz-Weber, was also a good book. A friend gave this to me and I enjoyed reading and discussing. It's an Anne Lamott-type spiritual memoir by an unorthodox Lutheran pastor. Again, this woman has a really interesting story and much wisdom to share. She sugarcoats nothing and made me love her for her authenticity.

Elihu has been reading comics and National Geographic kids' magazines. (Why won't that boy pick up a proper book?!?) Sintayehu is currently obsessed with all things Frozen and we've been reading one of two Frozen storybooks over and over again. Oliver re-read the The Mysterious Benedict Society and loved it again for the second time. It's about secret missions and precocious kids and I heard Oliver laughing out loud in delight over and over again as he read.

So that's that. What should I read next? I read a lot of nonfiction and am craving a novel. Suggestions?

What We're Reading

1 :: The Circle, a novel by Dave Eggers, was a page turner for me. I always enjoy his work and was simultaneously enthralled and frightened by this novel. It certainly made me question our collective desire for constant communication and virtual connectedness. At times, his story made my head spin (and yet I kept eagerly turning pages).

2 :: I recently discovered Sarah Bessey and really enjoyed her book, Jesus Feminist. Though I am not sure that I totally relate to her experience growing up in a conservative church, I find her perspective to be powerful and interesting to consider. I grew up Catholic but never really struggled with feeling as if I didn't have a voice because of my gender. Perhaps it's because my mom is such a leader in our local parish and I saw so many women serving the church in a variety of meaningful ways. I've since discovered Bessey's blog and enjoy that as well.

3 :: I've read Brene Brown's Daring Greatly twice now (once for fun and once with a group) and each time am reminded of what a worrier and perfectionist I am. I find her down-to-earth, sensible, and inspiring—kind of like a wise older sister gently pointing out the ways in which I could be enjoying life more. I'd recommend this book to anyone looking for personal growth and freedom to create.

4 :: For better or worse, the former high school English teacher in me can't help but buy books for my niece and nephew's birthday gifts. The bottom row of books pictured above are all gifts that we gave our pre-tween nephews for their birthdays in the last month. Play Ball, by Matt Christopher, seemed appropriate since its about cousins and baseball and (sniff sniff) moving away…all very apt themes in Tariku's newly 9-year-old life.

5 :: I like this series of biographies and have given many of them as gifts. The cast of characters is wide; there's a book about everyone from Rosa Parks to Walt Disney. We thought Tomas might enjoy a little nonfiction. (We gave him a biography as well as a Minecraft survival book.)

6 :: Finally, Oliver and his cousin Trysten LOVE the Percy Jackson series. One thing I enjoy about the series is that there are a lot of books to accompany the original series. Not only are there graphic novels which the boys seem to love, but also books focusing on Greek Mythology. It's fun to hear these boys discuss Greek myth through the characters they encounter in this Rick Riordan series.

What we're reading...

Eli is just beginning to unlock the magic of a good book and often needs a bit of encouragement. He hasn't yet gotten into Harry Potter, which sort of surprises me considering how obsessed his brother and cousins are, but is starting to be interested in the Diary of the Wimpy Kid series, which is a good break through. I have to admit, I've found him "sneak reading" with his book light a couple of nights past bedtime….and I've let it slide.

Because of his interest in cooking, I thought he might enjoy these books by Giada De Laurentiis. We've been reading them aloud together and they are delightful! They're about a precocious boy and his sister whose food-loving auntie has the power to transport the children (with just one bite of her cooking) to foodie destinations where they learn about culture and food. In Paris, the kids land in a French cooking school for kids. This has been especially fun to talk about and dream about! (The other book takes place in Naples and I believe there is a new book just out about Hong Kong.) These books won't be classics, but if your reader is interested in food, they are a lot of fun!

I recently finished The Interestings, by Meg Wolitzer, and loved it. I picked it up based on the cover quote by Jeffrey Eugenides (Middle Sex, The Marriage Plot) and loved watching the quirky, art-y characters come of age and their friendships evolve over decades. A quote from a main character, Ethan Figman: "Everyone basically has one aria to sing over their entire life, and this one is hers…" 

Weekending...

We're coasting into the weekend, which will be filled with basketball games, a birthday party, the Superbowl (snacks! yay!), and weather permitting, a short visit with some of my favorite ladies on the planet. If you've ever wondered if dinner with friends is worth a two and a half hour drive (both ways!), I'm here to tell you that it is. I can't wait!

There were some nice moments over the last week. I got to spend a little extra time with the kids thanks to a snow day and a half. I got to go with a friend on a random, freezing Tuesday night to a Patty Griffin concert where I was inspired by the sheer talent, power, and presence of a living artist. I got a much-needed haircut :) and I got to take a walk on an indoor track with another friend and enjoy helpful, delightful conversation. The two of us are both writers/editors by trade and we share some of the same goals. And yet, we're sometimes crippled by the voice in our head saying over and over again: "Who am I to a write book/an article/a blog post?" We discussed the tendency to downplay our talents (?) and passions (?) in a way that, I believe, hinders what we contribute to the world. I wonder what other aspects in my life I hinder myself because I'm afraid of my own light and my own power? Later, I stumbled upon this quote and it really resonated. 

Maybe you'll like it, too. Happy weekend!

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” 

Marianne Williamson, via Momastery  

Have you read it yet?

I finished the book Wonder by R.J. Palacio over the weekend. What a delightful book! I had gotten a copy for Oliver for Christmas and because there was such buzz about it I decided to read it as well. Oliver and I both agree that it's a fantastic read. The kindness and bravery of the characters you discover on each page is refreshing. There is such light in this book…it's a perfect mid-January read!

Craft Night!

For the last four years, on the Monday night before the Wine to Water party, we have a different kind of party...a craft party! Wonderful women fill my home and get down to work for water. I love it because a lot of my worlds collide—different pockets of lovely friends come together, we make things (I love to make things!), and we satisfy a bent toward social justice by doing it in order to raise money for others. I absolutely love it! Everyone pitches in on the supplies and on Saturday night the craft table will likely yield well over $1,000 for The Adventure Project! It really requires little thought…we all have fun, we drink wine, we catch-up and we make things….and we do it for a purpose bigger than ourselves. Really, there's little that could be better! Look at all these lovely ladies!

And here's what we made. For the most part, we stuck with the "Just Add Water" theme and created items that just need a little water in order to be really great. We are so lucky to have access to clean water. All we have to do is turn on the tap…and TA DA! Clean water for things like soup, hot cocoa, tea, baths and hygiene. It's a bit of a miracle if you think about it.

Sip: Tea and Peppermint Cocoa ($10/jar)

Soup: Curried Lentil and Three-Bean Barley ($15/jar :: 2 for $25)

Soak: Lavender Bath Salts and Citrus Sugar Scrub (new this year and I love it!) ($10/jar)

We also made soy wax candles using upcycled teacups. I'm obsessed with them. ($25 each)

You can find all of this and more at Saturday night's event!

Wine to Water Art Auction!

For three of the last four Wine to Water events we have offered the art that is auctioned off at the event to the online community. We started this knowing that our online community is just as generous as our Quad City community and we wanted to give them the chance to buy art for a really good cause. Over the last three years, the online auction has brought in thousands of dollars, providing clean water to thousands of people.

So here’s your chance once again to be part of something bigger than “just” art. We all know really great art has the power to move people into feeling something they wouldn’t ordinarily feel or to look at something or someone in a whole new light. We believe offering this art to you—our online community—is a way of encouraging that. We believe every time you look at this painting or quilt or piece of pottery you will remember that a group of people acting together can make a real impact on changing our global community.

Here’s how it works: The online auction begins right now and will end Saturday, November 16th at 12pm CST. Send your highest bid to my sis-in-law at tesileagh@gmail.com. We will have someone bid on your behalf at Saturday night’s Wine to Water event. Remember, all bids (and subsequent donations) are 100% tax deductible. You will donate the cost of your purchase directly to The Adventure Project. Once we receive confirmation of your donation, we will ship your piece of art directly to you! (Thanks to generosity of our event hosts, the shipping costs are on us! ☺)

So bid away! And if you really love something, make sure you bid high!

Keep in mind this is just a portion of the art that will be available on Saturday night. If you’re in the Quad City area make sure you have plans to attend the actual event this Saturday night.

7–10pm

3rd floor of the Redstone Building

2nd and Main, Davenport.

At 8:30pm there will be a short presentation on The Adventure Project.

Also, you’ll see within the description below that certain pieces of art are only available to local residents. Those pieces are just too big or heavy to ship. If, however, you feel like you still really want it and you are not local, we would be willing to ship it to you as long as you will help with the shipping costs. (Keep in mind we’re just a few people passionate about fixing the water crisis—our budget is limited!)

Every year we are humbled by the outpouring of support this event brings. Thank you all for your continued thoughts, prayers, and well wishes. We’re looking forward to another amazing night. Happy bidding!

1) This is a 4 piece canvas, each piece is 11×14.

2) “Wine to Water” oil on canvas.

3) “Tree of Life” 18×24 acrylic on canvas.

4) “The Gathering” 12×36 acrylic on canvas.

5) “Africa: My home. My Heart. My Motherland.” 16×20 acrylic on canvas (This was done by an 8-year-old Ethiopian adoptee, y’all! She’s amazing!)

6) “Symbol of Change” 18×24 mixed media acrylic painting.

7) Acrylic 18×24

8) “African Summer” quilt.

9) “Waterfall” quilt.

10) “Breath” *this is a local piece only* . Piece is 43″ in diameter and features 16 different light colors.

 

11) “Spiral Paradise” *Local piece only* Pottery bowl.

12) “Fish bowl” *local only piece* a 2 piece jar.

13) “Baren to life” quilt.

14) “From a well emerges life” a 12×12 acrylic multi media piece.

15) "My Cup Runneth Over" :: 16x20 canvas

16) untitled abstract :: 8x10 canvas

17) photo etching :: 11x14 framed

18) mixed media :: 5x7 plus frame

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For Real, Can I Have Your Hand-Me-Downs?

I loved the recent article by Mireille Silcoff in The New York Times. It's about grandparents and about how our generation is one who knows its grandparents.  It's also about grandpa/ma style, which you know I love. (Oliver's legit impression of me: "My name is mom and I love old-fashioned things," he says in a pitch higher than usual.) Anyway, the article mostly made me feel lucky to have my Gram in my life and lucky to have known several of Jake's grandparents as well. I wonder if you might relate. Silcoff writes,

"Those in their 20s and 30s today have the experience of knowing and, usually, loving their grandparents for most or all of their adult lives. Today, college graduations, weddings, 30th birthday parties, Christenings, brises — these sorts of events are regularly blessed with multiple Grannies, Papas, Yiayias, Zaides, Nanas, Nonnas, Omas, Abuelitos. They stand up; they take bows. In the true fabric of experience, this is not some invisible stitching."

How lucky so many of us are! We lost my grandfather when I was 15 years old, but I am 34-years-old and my grandmother has been a part of the fabric of my entire life.  My lovely Gram—who taught me how to can tomatoes, make noodles, dote on babies, and say the rosary in times of trial.  I visited her a few weeks ago and watched her read books to my daughter, listen to me brag about my boys, and insist on feeding me lunch before I made the trip home.  I'm borrowing Silcoff's words here with my own story: Throughout my life, I have walked into this woman's home in diapers, with dolls, with En Vogue on my discman, with a fiancé, a husband, diapered babies of my own, and she has just always been there—and always with strawberry-blonde hair, red lipstick, and wrinkles. Like Silcoff says, standing near her, I am in the presence of a miracle of our age...

Run for Renewal

The Project Renewal 5K that our family participated in on Saturday ended up being a terrific experience. I felt both brave and humbled by participating in a race right after the Boston Marathon and it ended up being a neat, healing experience. You know the Mr. Rogers quote that has been so popular on Facebook these days?  This one: "When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.'" Well, I got a little sucked into the TV coverage on Friday and was more than a little touched by the "helpers" that emerged, both the professionals and the people on the street.  It turns out that I saw some helpers up close and in person on Saturday as well.  

I saw the "Live United" group of runners in our community present a check for $2,000 to Project Renewal. I saw Ann and Carl, the people who quietly run the program scurry around with smiles on their faces, quietly drumming up support for the kids and families they work with. I witnessed two police officers unload sparkling new bikes out of their vehicles and give them away to kids so that they could get around the neighborhood. And I saw hundreds of people show up for this important program. I could go on. It was beautiful.

The boys ran their little hearts out.  To be so strong and alive!

Sintayehu was the only runner who insisted on wearing cowboy boots
and eating a bagel while she raced.

She required a bit of motivation, but she finished the race!

Sometimes we ran, sometimes we walked. The kids took turns in the stroller.

We discovered that Captain America lives along the race route. 

We found signs of Spring!

Sintayehu's name was drawn for a door prize.
She won a massage for Mommy!  What a good girl.

Oliver and I did some camera tricks.  What do you think, do we look alike?

Slow, snowy day.

The conditions called for a SLOW morning.  So after Sintayehu and I took the boys + neighbors to school, we lounged like the good old days.  She didn't have preschool this morning and I was happy to put off any work in order to take full advantage of our time together.  We played with her dollhouse (her favorite thing to do is say "ding dong, ding dong" and then make her doll run away shrieking with laughter).  We folded laundry.  We played guitars.  And we made muffins.  At one point I made a quick phone call while she watched Daniel Tiger on the couch.  I didn't actually get dressed until we emerged in public at 5 p.m. I had forgotten how nice days like these can be.

Take That!

A random collection of thoughts and clip art:

--I’ve written before about how I often have to battle my Super Mom impulses.  It’s an ugly pattern.  I settle into a healthy perspective and lifestyle and then she starts creeping back in, convincing me that I need to be more and be better.  Well, I recently clashed with her once again.  I somehow decided that I could work 20 hours a week (it’s busy season with one of my contracts) without requiring childcare beyond pre-school hours, which totals...wait for it...five hours per week.  I could do this, Super Mom told me, without breaking a sweat and without snapping at loved ones.  I could do this AND maintain a tidy home and precious friendships.  I could do this, she promised, and cook nightly meals.  I could pull this off and still have relaxing moments and pleasant conversations with my husband at the end of the day.  Can you believe I bought into these lies?  Maybe you can do all of this, but I cannot. So, beginning this week, Sintayehu will be in childcare one day per week.  This, along with preschool hours, the occasional naptime, and a Saturday morning stretch, should allow me to complete my work and have time to enjoy life and be the kind, relaxed, loving person that I long to be.  Take that, Super Mom.

--For some reason, I decided to start packing lunches the night before rather than the morning of.  This is a small thing, but it has been revolutionary!  Why have I not done this for the last 2 ½ years?  The mornings have been so much less harried and so much more enjoyable.  I can actually sit down with a cup of coffee as the kids eat their toast.  Any other seemingly obvious parenting tips that I’ve been missing?

--Please don’t judge, but Sintayehu got a vacuum for her birthday.  At first I thought this seemed a bit sexist and was hesitant to allow such a thing, but after some thought I dismissed that idea and actually made the request when asked what Sintayehu might like for her birthday.  “Helping toys,” I said.  Sintayehu loves nothing more than to help me vacuum, to help her brothers dust, and to help Jake unload the dishwasher.    She loves to be where the action is at all times and she genuinely loves to help.  We bought the boys dolls, encouraged them to wear pink, bought them crowns and sometimes insisted on the “girl” toy at McDonald’s just to shake things up.  And, quelle horreur, Eli got a pink easy bake oven for Christmas.  I digress.

I like the idea of work as play, and I have to say, she loves her vacuum.  (For the record, so does Eli.)  But I will admit that I might have raised an eyebrow had I attended her birthday party as a bystander before I had a daughter.  However, I think that if Sintayehu were to grow up in a time where there were no other options for her beyond the hope of marriage and a life at home, then a vacuum would be a sad, sad gift.  But for a girl who will have incredible opportunities to pursue virtually anything she wants, then a vacuum doesn’t have the same meaning attached.  And honestly, if our Sintayehu decides to grow up and vacuum floors day in and day out, well then I think that's a beautiful, noble choice.  For now, it’s a toy that she enjoys.  It's a toy that allows her to mimic her mom and dad doing a monthly weekly chore.  (Can you tell I'm overthinking this?)  

Mostly, she just looks so funny when she vacuums.  This is often a morning activity...before her hair is done...while her robe (which she calls her “robot”) is still on...with snow boots on her feet.  In fact, she looks like this.  I think she rocks.