Sintayehu is 6!

We celebrated Sintayehu over the weekend with treats at school, time with grandparents, dinner out, and a small party on Saturday morning. Things I love about this child: She understands the fun of wearing a party dress to a party. She is kind and generous. (She shared her new birthday toys with her friends immediately.) She squeals and smiles when she's excited—there is no hiding her joy. She is genuinely thrilled to see the people she loves and greets them with cheers while jumping up and down. She never asks for anything yet was delighted with every gift she opened. Her energy is endless and her silliness is infectious. I don't know how Jake and I ever got so lucky. Happy birthday, sweet Sintayehu!

Kitchen Reno Part I: A Couch in the Kitchen

Jake and I got a new stove for Christmas. As with any major purchase, this prompted a lot of discussion. In fact, we’d been talking about getting a new stove (gas burners! convection oven!) for something like three years and finally (with the help of the most amazing in-laws ever) made the purchase earlier this month.

When you add a major appliance to a 107-year-old kitchen, you take a look around. Should walls be moved or removed? Should countertops be replaced? Should cabinets be painted? All of these are things we’ve been asking ourselves.  Ultimately though, as nice as new countertops or an island might be, I really just want the one thing that I’ve wanted for the last 10 years: A couch in my kitchen.

So, we moved our loveseat into the kitchen. It blocks an entryway (currently disguised with a curtain) and we are in the midst of a trial period deciding whether or not we like the new layout. I need no convincing. I cannot tell you how many hours I’ve spent lounging here over the last few weeks. (I’m writing at the kitchen table while comfy on the couch right now.) I’ve lounged here with kids, I’ve lounged here with Jake, and, big believers in family dinners, all five of us have stayed at the table longer than ever.

The kitchen is the command center of this house—of my whole universe, really. It doesn’t need to be shiny or huge. It just needs a couch.

Where I've Been

I had some time over the holidays and found myself up late one night reading through all of my old blog posts. The pictures! The stories! The kids! It was incredible to sit back after months away and appreciate each post written. It reminded me how this blog, while in the deep throes of life as a mom of preschoolers, offered a place of reflection and joy. I didn’t visit this space very often over the last year, but I’m not ready to give it up.

In my last post, I blamed our new poodle for not writing, but getting a puppy was not my only reason. 2015 was a year of huge and exciting changes. In February, I took a new job working part-time for an NGO based in rural Tanzania. (I realized quickly there is no such thing as part-time in the world of non-profit.) Eli played Little League and loved it. Sintayehu started kindergarten and loves it. Oliver keeps reading and getting taller. I opened a business in 2015; I planned the Water Party with my sisters and friends; I found a publisher for my book. Through all of that, blogging has taken a backseat. But friends, I miss it here! I miss the regular reflection and living life with an eye toward story. So, this year, I'm hoping to jump back in.

Photo: Frederic Bazille - Young Woman with Peonies, 1870 at the National Art Gallery

Sunday night shake night

We've started a Sunday night tradition: Board games (we're currently enjoying Apples to Apples, Clue, Dora Memory, and Scrabble) and ice cream shakes. We've been doing game night since the fall and added ice cream shakes after a visit to Zombie Burger in February. Zombie Burger has a fun list of creative shake flavors so we've been working through the menu. Hits: Peanut Butter Banana, Zombie Unicorn, and Zombie Bride Wedding. Misses: Cherry Kool Aid and Tallahassee. I've read a lot about the importance of family traditions and establishing routines within a family. I remember on Sunday nights when I was growing up my mom would announce, "The kitchen is closed!" This meant we'd order food, grab a treat from the Dairy Queen, or pop a big bowl of popcorn. Basically, the proclamation simply meant that she wasn't cooking, but the whole experience became something we looked forward to and enjoyed. I appreciate the theory that traditions help group bonding and enhance the security each member feels within the family unit. Mostly I just like ice cream.

Life Lately

Thank you for all of your kind comments on my last blog post. I was so excited to share this new career move and was truly touched by your support! Thank you!

The kids and Jake have been on Spring Break this week and we've been pretty relaxed. Eli has started baseball (Jake and his dad are coaching) so we've had a few practices. The weather has been nice enough to take a few bike rides and do a bit of yard work as well. We went to visit our lovies in Michigan last weekend and had a delightful time. It was great to see the cousins have such a great time playing. Of course it was great to catch up with Zach and Tesi.

I dyed my hair back to its original color. That was fun!

We're so excited about the sunshine!

And spring flowers!

We've had some foodie fun, too. Our Tanzanian friend came over and cooked for us last night. We went to the African market for supplies and enjoyed ugali (corn meal cooked with water) and goat stew (goat, tomatoes, water, onion, curry) with rice. I've always believed food is a great way to get to know a culture. This makes me really excited for my upcoming trip to Tanzania!

Ugali (also known in some African countries as fufu) is surprisingly difficult to stir!

Earlier in the week Jake and I went for lunch at Barley & Rye, a farm-to-table type restaurant. We went to try the bourbon flight, which I am writing about for The Gold Book. (I'm still writing one article per month—it's the only freelance assignment I've kept.) I'm not really a bourbon drinker, but it was fun to try. The food was great.

A New Tradition

Our last pie night: Lemon meringue for me and cherry for Jake.

Jake and I have stumbled upon a new tradition. One night a week, we drop the kids off at church where they are each in a different children's choir. We make sure they're settled and then we sneak off down the block to Village Inn for a piece of pie and a cup of decaf. As our family's schedules seem to be increasingly demanding, it's a great automatic (45-minute) date night and I find myself looking forward to it every week. Also great is that it happens to fall on "free pie night" and customers get a free piece of pie with every order. How could this not feel anything but amazing!?

Hello, long-lost friend!

Please pardon my silence. I always find it difficult to jump back in after I haven't written for weeks. The "baby book" part of the blog demands pictures in order to catch up. The "I'm trying to figure this whole thing out" part of the blog asks for actual contemplation, which I haven't had a lot of time for. The "newsy" part begs for actual events to report and there really haven't been any during this stretch of time. The "how-to" part of the blog requires planning and projects, which again, have been few. So...bullet points to tide things over and perhaps a real post later this week.

• The big news is that I took a new job! This development accounts for much of the silence on the blog—I've been absorbed in learning my responsibilities as the director of development and communications for an NGO called Empower Tanzania. This is huge news for me! I started on February 1st and I get to travel to Tanzania in April. I promise I'll devote a whole post to it later. The job is part-time, from home, and is an absolute collision of my passion and skills. I'm feeling really lucky!!
• With this new job, I've given up almost all of my freelance work, which has been bittersweet. I've also made the decision to lay off on the book publishing process a bit. As you know, the "platform building" has been exhausting and uncomfortable for me and I feel like I'm ready to inch off of the platform. Again, more on that later. 
• Sintayehu went to Kindergarten Round-up last week!!
• Eli is home sick with the flu today. He tried out for baseball over the weekend. (Jake and his dad are coaching!)
• Oliver compete in our city-wide Battle of the Books on Saturday and is preparing for his first communion.
• We have one episode left in the new season of House of Cards. I read Amy Poehler's Yes Please over the weekend and laughed out loud.
• The weather. I hesitate to say this, but it seems to be improving. Hallelu! Iowa winters are hard, but spring is going to be amazing! (See my last post. Thank you to my sweet, amazing mother-in-law for showing up at my house with a light therapy box. She is incredible and I'm a believer in it's magical powers.)

Pigeon Party! (She's 5!)

It's hard to believe, but our baby girl is 5! At 5, Sintayehu loves our cat, her classmates, her My Little Ponies and babies, and just about anything about every moment. The child is truly a delight. Her laughter is contagious and frequent, she's really good at Memory, and she thinks her brothers are amazing. She generous, helpful, beautiful, and full of sunshine. Being her mother is one of life's biggest pleasures.

Recently, we've really been enjoying the pigeon books by Mo Willems. (And the Piggy and Elephant books as well.) For Sintayehu's 5th birthday we had a bit of fun with the pigeon theme. On Thursday (her actual birthday), the five of us had a hot dog party at home. (I mean, the pigeon did find a hot dog after all.)

On Saturday we celebrated with family and a handful of friends. She is such a joyful little girl and she honestly lights up the room. We had a great time celebrating her! (I also had a great time making pigeon decorations. Who knew it was a thing!)

She wore her party dress! (Made by Grandma Ruby and borrowed from cousin Dailah.)

I was so glad my auntie, gram, and cousin got to come. 

Kids Can Cook! (And do a lot of other things I sometimes think I need to do for them)

I've been reading a lot of parenting books lately, partly for my own growth as a mother and partly for a writing project that I'm considering. The kids have seen these books scattered about the house and they are curious. "What does it say in there, mom?" they ask tentatively, as if I'm finally on to them and am on the verge of figuring out all of their tricks. It seems that because they see me reading these instructional books, they assume I now (after 10 years of practice) will figure out what I'm supposed to be doing as their mother. Of course, even after reading several books, I still don't really know what I'm doing, but for whatever reason, if I say, "Stop doing that. According to [insert book title], parents shouldn't let their kids [insert damaging behavior]," they listen. It's kind of fun.

One of my favorite bits of advice and one that I've been pulling out a lot is from Robin Berman's Permission to Parent. Basically she says this: Don't do for kids what kids can do for themselves.

I know that my kids are capable of doing many things that I do for them. They can make their own breakfast, though on school days I often make it for them. Oliver and Eli can (and sometimes do) manage their own laundry. The list goes on. I probably coddle them too much. 

What's funny though is that after repeating this parenting advice a few times, they've begun to bring it up on their own. "I bet you're going to make me do it by myself because of that book you're reading," said Eli, catching himself after he asked me to put his homework in his backpack. (Really?) "Fine mom," Oliver said. "I'll take out the trash in my room." (I hadn't said a word about his trash can.) It's as if I have inadvertently set a new expectation and they've begun to feel pride in what they can do. 

Fascinating!

Case in point. Eli had a friend over last week. After thirty minutes of play and a bowl of grapes that I had provided, they came to me with this:

Eli and Devin: We want something good for an after school snack. Will you make us something?

Me: Well, I could, but I also know that you two are just as capable. Why don't you make biscuits?

Eli and Devin (wide-eyes, smiles, and fist pumps): Yes!

I helped them find a recipe I knew they could manage (quick drop biscuits from The Joy of Cooking, recorded below) and I let them do the work. All of the work. The measuring, the stirring, yes, even the in-and-out of the oven with oven mitts. And the clean-up. They didn't complain. In fact, they enjoyed themselves and felt pride in what they accomplished. And the biscuits were pretty good!

For Christmas, Jake gave me his great-grandmother's rocking chair. (His mom was so sweet to pass this on to us.) We put it in the kitchen and it's where you can find me a lot of the time these days—sometimes reading a parenting book. :) It's where I sat as I observed the baking, drank my coffee, and enjoyed the chatter of boys, empowered to bake. It's hard to believe how big kids get...and so fast! Sintayehu turns 5 tomorrow. Let them grow, mama, the books advise. It's what I'm trying to be better at—sitting from my nice new perch, there to support and to watch them grow.

Quick Drop Biscuits 

(*with oil instead of butter)

from The Joy of Cooking

Preheat oven to 475 degrees.

Sift in bowl: 2 cups all-purpose flour

1 tbsp baking powder

1 tsp salt

Add: 2/3 cup milk

1/3 cup vegetable oil

Stir with a fork just until the dough readily leaves the sides of the bowl. Drop walnut-sized dabs of dough from a spoon onto ungreased baking sheet. Bake 10 to 12 minutes.

What parenting books have impacted you? What should I put on my list?

Favorite Photos 2014

How did it get so late so soon?

Though I'm working to practice presence in 2015, I love looking back and thinking about how time has shaped our family and brought us to this moment. Here are a few of my favorites from 2014:

^^Mindy got married! My beautiful cousin married an amazing man in March. It was such fun to celebrate with the two of them and our entire family. Yay for Love!^^

^^In March the entire Klipsch family went to Mexico. It was such a wonderful week! I love my in-laws and am so blessed that these amazing people are not only family but best friends. A week on the beach laughing, relaxing, watching our kids play...perfection!^^

^^It was an amazing year for travel. Jake and I got to celebrate my aunt's 50th birthday in Vegas in February, the whole family traveled to Mexico in March, the boys and I got to visit good friends in Atlanta in June, and I attended a great conference in Nashville in August. But the big trips actually happened in July: Sintayehu and I visited Kait in NYC and hung out with my mom in Chicago. Jake, my step-dad, and our boys spent two weeks in Tanzania—a trip of a lifetime! Clearly, travel is a huge priority for us and the trips we were able to take this year will impact our lives forever! Such joy!!^^

^^The Water Party is always a highlight. I love the madness that takes over in October and November. I have always loved working with Tesi on this project, and this year I got to plan with Emily as well. Again, you can't choose your in-laws, but somehow I got incredibly lucky. And the women in this community?! We had so much amazing help and every last person on our team was incredible. Oh my goodness. I'm beginning to think this community is the very best in the world. ^^

^^We got a cat!! After years of saying we'd never get an animal and then years of thinking about getting an animal, we finally got a cat! Zuri Opal Nightwalker Michael Jackson Klipsch (we tend to call her just Zuri or Zoo-zi) came to us just after Easter and it's been a total love affair since.^^

^^In August, my good friend Sara and I hosted a poetry reading at our church. It was such a wonderful night! We paired contemporary poems with age-old psalms and asked almost 20 people to read. (This included 10-year-old Oliver, who read On Turning Ten by Billy Collins. My heart!!) My mom played flute and another friend played cello in the prayer garden on a lovely summer evening. It was such a fun experience.^^

^^After a fab weekend in Chicago where Jake and I got to enjoy a beautiful downtown wedding with his lovely extended family, we came back to Eastern Iowa to meet my parents who had taken the kids camping for the weekend. We spent the afternoon watching them fish, playing, and picnic-ing. It was a really fun weekend that stands out as one that makes me happy. I love spending time with my husband. I love being a mom. I love being silly. (Here we are jumping off swings!)^^

^^I've continued to freelance as a writer and editor and love writing for Radish, Gold Book, Yoga Iowa consistently. I got to dip my toe in more marketing copy this year, appeared frequently on Paula Sands Live, and enjoyed speaking at the Inspire Motherhood Conference. I was sad to lose my copy editing gig at The Chicago School of Professional Psychology in October. I loved spending 10 hours each week reading fascinating, cutting-edge doctoral dissertations, but I continue to teach at The Chicago School. The book...well, I'm still working hard. I have gotten some wonderful endorsements, which I am so thankful for. I've also made progress on my "platform." (Thank you for "liking" my FB page! Publishers love numbers!) My agent continues to shop the book. I'm hoping this is my year!^^

(The title of this post is a quote from Dr. Suess. It's a question that gets truer with every passing year.)