Thankful...

Saturday was National Adoption Day. Since coming out on the other side of the very long, very difficult adoption process, I haven't devoted much space on this blog to adoption. This is odd, when I stop to think about it, because the very act of adoption has shaped our lives in profound ways. All adoption stems from tremendous loss. That's just the truth. But through adoption, our family has been made complete. I love my nephews, my cousin, and my daughter with my entire heart and my entire being. Sintayehu. She has seen hard times and yet she is the most joyful, sweet, kind, smart, beautiful little girl. She adores her brothers. She is growing tall. She has taken an interest in letters. She terrorizes our cat. Her giggle is the cutest and her joyful spirit is nothing but contagious. Adoption has shaped our family in a way I could have never imagined and that I sometimes take for granted. I'm grateful for a day that reminded me to stop and recognize the beautiful complexity of it all.

Melkam Genna!

Just when it seemed like the party season was winding down, we have one more to prepare for: Ethiopian Christmas! The Ethiopians follow a different calendar than us, so their Christmas celebration commences later than ours. You can read about the tradition here. We're celebrating tonight with family and friends. I'm making misr wat (a type of lentil stew) and tikel gomen this afternoon and am anxious to put on my traditional white clothes and partake in a feast! 

I loved the time we spent in Ethiopia in 2011 and 2012 and am really anxious to go back. It's probably not going to happen this year, but maybe 2015? One can hope.

2013 Adoption Group Reunion

We were all really excited to head north to Milwaukee a few weekends ago to reunite with the families that we traveled to Ethiopia with in December of 2010. We missed last year's reunion and couldn't wait to see these friends again after 2 1/2 years of thinking about them and looking at their pictures via blogs and Facebook.

This picture was taken in Addis Ababa in 2010 (our first trip to ET). We all stayed together at our agency's guest house and bonded deeply over the riveting experience that adoption can be.

The reunion in Milwaukee was wonderful. Time and time again, Jake and I looked at each other and gasped, "Can you believe how nice these people are? How lovely? How interesting? How kind?" We were all thrown together randomly from all over the country and, my goodness, I'm not sure you could find a more wonderful group.

Scott and Carrie, our hosts, organized a perfect weekend. (Their son Jackson is one of Sintayehu's buddies from the Care Center and has the most beautiful Ethiopian eyes!) On Friday night we had a picnic complete with a bounce house, slip-and-slide, playground equipment and good food. We all reconvened for breakfast on Saturday morning and then headed to a county fair. It wasn't the Wisconsin State Fair (which may have been a bit overwhelming), but it was a charming little county fair that was just perfect for our group. Here are some scenes from the fair:

Sintayehu adored Grace, whose mom writes a beautiful blog here...

Oliver snapped the above photo of Jake and I. It's one of my new favorites.

Miss Sintayehu wading through kernels of corn.

The kids at the carnival and a beautiful sky. We let each kid choose one ride/attraction. Sintayehu chose the "choo-choo train," Eli chose a sky-jumpy thing, and Oliver choose a balloon/hamster wheel that went over water. Something for everyone, I suppose!

Big brothers with their little sisters:

This is pretty much what I did all weekend. Laughed and hung on every word. Such great people!

Ethiopian food! OhmygoodnessOhymygoodnessOhmygoodness. We don't have an ET restaurant nearby so this was quite a treat. We took over the entire place. It was so so fun to be taking in a bit of Ethiopia with these people.

After dinner fun:

The group:

(This woman's hubby took the photo. Thanks, Dan!)

After saying goodbye on Sunday morning, we decided to spend some time at the lakefront before heading home. We loved the art museum and enjoyed another gorgeous day. Delightful!

Can't wait for next summer's reunion!

The blog has been quiet....

This is still one of my favorite photos of all time. Our first night at home with Sintayehu.

It's a bullet point kind of day...

• We brought Sintayehu home two years ago today.  This deserves a longer post, but today I'll say this: Our little girl is an absolute joy. I'm not saying that every moment "after the airport" homecoming has been perfect and blissful, but I will say that being her mother is an absolute gift. Do you remember how long we waited for her?  My goodness. I still have to pinch myself to believe that this dream of ours actually came true. The child completes our family in a way that I never imagined possible. I'm feeling very grateful today.

• Oliver and Eli had their school concert last week. Oliver was a farmer and had a few lines. Eli was sweet in the choir. We went out for ice cream after the program. It's these simple celebrations that I love.

• Jake and I enjoyed our first bike date of the season last night!  We rode to Frank and Emily's to watch Mad Men. The weather was beautiful; the night was perfect. Thanks to my in-laws for staying up late to watch the kiddos!

• And now you're all caught up. It's been deliciously quiet around here.

Look at how tiny she is! 15-months-old.

I was smitten from the start!

She's Three!

Sintayehu turned three today.  We celebrated her well.  "It's Sintayehu's birthday!" she said often.  "I'm having fun!"  At three, she's stringing more words together.  She's showing us new pieces of herself and is expressing what's going on in her mind.  She's incredibly helpful.  She's very nurturing.  She loves her brothers fiercely.  She's funny.  She falls a lot.  Of course we find her beautiful, both inside and out.

She's been under the weather lately so–twist my arm–I kept her home from preschool this morning.  We cuddled, ran a few errands, and read a lot of books.  She got to talk to some family members on the phone.  I let her eat cheerios on the couch.  And then blueberries.  And then turkey.  I let her play the iPad as I combed her hair.  "Poor birdies," she said over and over again as she listened to the Angry Birds theme song.  She dressed in party clothes and obsessed over her colorful beaded bracelet all day long, taking it on and off, on and off.  I wore the silver necklace that I bought in Ethiopia.

I would never really consider this an adoption blog, but since this blog focuses on the making of and the life of this family, there are, of course, threads of adoption that run through its narrative.  And  milestone days like birthdays make me a little bit sentimental, so I spent a lot of time thinking today.

We began the adoption process (officially) in February of 2008.  Mind you, this was nearly two years before Sintayehu was even born!  We officially began our wait when we turned in our paperwork on October 28, 2008; we saw a jpeg image of her face in October of 2010; we brought Sintayehu home in April of 2011.  In some ways, it's actually still painful to dredge up the feelings that I experienced during the years of waiting for her to join our family.  It was an incredibly vulnerable time filled with anxiety and darkness and confusion about the world.  And yet there was always this great hope and longing and sense of wonder about what was about to happen.  Always pain before a child is born...

Sometimes I have to catch my breath when I realize that we only have four baby pictures of her. (All of which are adorable, by the way).  And I'll be honest, it sometimes feels like a cruel joke that she–we–have a family a world away that didn't get to eat cake with us tonight.  Inhale.  Exhale.  We will do what we can.  Healthy or not, I can't linger here for long.

When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock 

and cover you with my hand until I have passed by.

I'd say we're on the other side.  We're here living this life that is truly rich, in part because of this little girl.  She's been home for nearly two years and I still feel as if we won the jackpot.  I feel like we could have scoured the earth and looked under every rock and inside every cupboard and down every aisle and never in a million years have come up with a child more suited to our family.  She is so easy to love.  We are so incredibly lucky.

Here's a big thought in a clunky sentence: God is so much bigger than big.  On a day like this, a sentimental kind of day on which I set the dining room table with special dishes and wrapped doll furniture and a sweet little dress in green polka-dot paper, a day on which I get to witness this beautiful child actually call me "mama," I simply can't get over this force of love and brilliance that's behind the wheel.  I guess all of this is to say that it's just so humbling.  I get to know her.  It's her birthday.  I got to hang streamers.  I'm sitting her tonight feeling so small.  And so loved.

Pictures to come...

Melkam Addis Amet! (A week late.)

Happy Ethiopian New Year!  Last Tuesday was the day that Ethiopians celebrate the new year, as well as the end of the rainy season.  We missed it, but tried to make up for it over the weekend.  On Sunday night we enjoyed traditional food (or at least our version of it) and some music.  Jake made shiro wat (which we eat with rice rather than injera) and shiro-stuffed tomatoes, recipes that are both found in Marcus Samuelsson's "The Soul of a New Cusine."  I mention this because it's really a beautiful cookbook full of African recipes.  Though our celebration was late and a bit thrown together, it was a night of family fun.

Our sweet little Ethiopian.  I still can't get over how beautiful this child is.

Jake and I really want to return to Ethiopia in the next 3-4 years or so.  We've started saving and hope to make the trip a reality.  Smelling the spices on Sunday evening made me nostalgic for the time we were able to spend there in 2010 and 2011.  I am definitely itching to go back.  It's the land that gave us one of our most precious blessings (not to mention four other blessings in the form of three nephews and a cousin...not to mention all of our little Ethiopian friends!) and there is a space in my heart that I yearn for Ethiopia to occupy.  I dream of stepping on the soil again someday!

I haven't been blogging. Reason #6.

This is my favorite reason!

6. Sintayehu. Oh. my. goodness. I truly didn't think the girl could get any busier, but I was wrong. The child is 2 years 8 months and she is into EVERYTHING. She runs everywhere she goes and her little hands just can't help themselves...they're reaching up onto counters, they're tearing through drawers, and, much to my dismay, they're ripping pages out of books. She is a whirlwind!

It's impossible, though, to get too cross with her because she is still ridiculously adorable and is giggling with joy 85% of the time. (The remaining 15% of the time she is angry with one of us and is either dramatically glaring, passionately crying or somberly sucking her thumb.) I actually had a dream that I was running after her in a park, but she was so fast that when I reached out to grab her, I missed and fell, breathing in the dust in her wake--just like in the cartoons.  Though I wouldn't trade it for anything in the universe, I have to say that chasing her around all day is rather exhausting and time consuming. Needless to say, this all leaves little time for the blog. :-)

Remember this dress?  (Seriously.  Click the link.  You're sure to recall the post!)  Well, she's FINALLY wearing this dress!!!  I really wasn't sure that the day would ever come.  And, oh my goodness, she really is cuter than I could have imagined! (She may be cute, dear reader, but I won't lie--she still makes my eye twitch!)

Somebody pinch me.

Today marks exactly four months since she joined our family. She has filled our home with an incredible amount of love and joy. I still can't believe she is our daughter...or that she fits in the kitchen sink!  Oh sweet Sintayehu.  We love her so much.

 

Full Disclosure

The adoption was hard on us. As you know, it was three years of ups and downs and a whole lot of waiting and not knowing and being completely out of control. It was uncomfortable. It was often miserable. We made it through--and are probably stronger--but there is no denying that the process was very, very difficult.

Since we got home from Ethiopia with our darling girl I have had what seemed like the flu three different times. I have had strange things going on with my body that I wouldn't whisper to you over the phone, let alone write down here. And I have been tired. As in bone tired. As in nine-months-pregnant-working-on-my-feet-all-day tired. All of this together struck me as odd and so I started to do a little internet research. (Trouble.) So did the people who love me. (Double trouble.) We became convinced I had picked up some sort of parasite or perhaps even malaria. I went to the doctor and got tested. I am fine.

Honestly, I was kind of hoping that I "had" something. That would, at least, explain the tired. Of course, I'm thankful that I'm fine. I'm even more thankful that had I actually had something like malaria, I could have been treated. What a place we live in.

By now, I'm actually feeling better. She's been home with us for almost two months. My head has been in the clouds, I've been so overjoyed by her presence. My body, I think, is recovering and adjusting and getting stronger as well.

So, why the health drama? I have a few theories.

1. I have a seventeen-month-old. A very active, very busy, very quickly developing seventeen-month-old. In adoption, there is no "warming up". We didn't get sixteen months of getting to know our girl before she turned seventeen months. Every single day we are learning about each other and she is learning about the world. She is developing like crazy. And the girl loves it. She doesn't walk, she runs. She doesn't want to play with one toy, she wants ten. Everything is new and exciting...to both of us. She is living life to the fullest and I am following her around trying to keep her out of harm's way. Of course I'm tired! I'm a new mommy!!

2. I am not great with change. I often find change exhausting. This was a big one.

3. I'm a wuss. A weakling, pure and simple.

4. I remember in college that I used to go, go, go and then right after finals, I would get a cold or get sick or something. My body knew that it had to be strong for the moment, but when the stress was gone, the reserves left too. This was also the case after our wedding. The excitement leading up was huge and immediately when it was over, sick. When considering this, I think we had three years of waiting stress and when it was finally o-v-e-r, my body began to relax--to let down and take a breather--making me susceptible to any flu bugs floating around.

5. I need a hamburger. Jake and I have been vegan since February. I liked it. I liked the creativity it spurred and I appreciated the self control it imposed. But I think my body is craving more. I was, admittedly, a lazy vegan. Jake is still vegan so we're cooking vegan meals at night, but I have slowly added cheese, dairy and meat back into the diet. Come lunchtime, bring on the burger! (I have to admit that writing that seems forced. I still have many issues with the food industry and treatment of animals. Anyway. I think all of this has something to do with it.)

So that's the unedited version. The transition back home has not been all strawberries and Sesame Street, as I sometimes like to let you think. I am loving our little family and I truly appreciate the journey this has been. I am so so so relieved that the wait is over. I am thankful that on certain nights, I can keep my eyes open past 10. And the best news is that I have a daughter that I am getting to know daily. And, just as important, I that I think I am finally finding myself again.

A few thoughts at one month home...

First of all, this can't be right! One month! It feels like she's always been here. Then again, it seems as if we just stepped off the plane!



Here's a peek into her development at 16-months-old:





--She has gained a lot of weight. Like 25% of her total body weight. She has chubby thighs!
--She still fits into the Baby Bjourn, which I love.
--She sleeps through the night.
--The only food she has ever rejected is strawberries. (Huh?)
--Clearly, she is my 3rd child. I have given her a donut...and she loved it.
--Neither did I call an ambulance when she fell down the stairs. (Again, third child.)
--She is a disaster on or near stairs.
--She loves (soy) milk.
--She is highly lactose intolerant, as in a shred of cheese makes her miserable.
--She's almost walking. She walks 80% of the time. She holds her hands in the air while she walks. It's very cute.
--Her sense of wonder is innocent, amazing and refreshing.
--She gives the sweetest, tightest hugs.
--She knows the baby sign for "more" and says so often.
--She's very ticklish and loves this sort of attention.
--She loves her brothers and watches them constantly.
--She loves water and the bathtub.
--She doesn't love naps.
--She is stunningly beautiful.
--She dances to music and enjoys banging on the piano.
--She still sucks her thumb and cuddles when she's nervous, tired, or someplace new.
--She has a voice as soft as silk and as loud as a lion, depending on what she's trying to communicate.
--I'm pretty sure she calls me mama.
--She makes our lives fuller and our hearts flutter.
--She has completed our family in the most beautiful, miraculous way.

Wordless Wednesday: Good Friday in Addis Ababa

To clarify...

I'm worried that I might have sounded a bit negative in my previous post. I hope I didn't because though I have been tired, mainly I've been tickled. You can see why:

And to quickly update, I think I'm getting my mojo back anyway! It started last night. Jake made this pizza after the kids went to bed and I managed to stay up and eat with him. AND, I finished my book! It was 10:30 when I went to bed. Clearly, the tired tide is turning.

And today was a great day. The sun was shining. I did some housework. (I have been avoiding this since we came home and it felt good to cross some tasks off the list.) And then a sweet friend surprised me with lunch...including coffee and dessert! I am feeling so blessed by this new friendship!


To top it off, Sinta was still sleeping when Jake got home from work so I snuck out for a run. It felt great. We had dinner when I returned (made by this lovely friend and pulled from the freezer...truly, I am so lucky!) and then we all went to the park to play.

Most recently, I tucked in two boys and rocked a baby to sleep singing my favorite sunny-day lullaby, "Summertime" from Porgy and Bess. (Aside: Jake insists that I summon Grace from "Will and Grace" when I sing this song, which means, of course, that it's both appropriately soulful and beautiful.) (Another aside: Does anyone else have a favorite lullaby? I'd love to know what it is. We sing a lot of "You Are My Sunshine", "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" and "The Glory of Love" in our house.)

So, all of this is to say that I'm starting to feel like myself again. Only better. Because, seriously, look at who I get to hang out with all day.

She loves being in her mama's arms:

And looking out the window:

And my precious Eli, who makes a new fort everyday: